William Turner: girlyman
by INTYFOOYOO
Summary: ONE-SHOT HUMOR! COMPLETE!Elizabeth has left Will because he was 'Too-Girly' for her taste. Seeing how the women fawn over Jack, he muses his look and tries his hand at it. Jack walks in and, erm...yeah. Draw your own concluions. Or just read it! FUNNY!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: *sniff* sadly enough I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack, Will or any of the characters. But the plot is MINE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ps. This story is the WRITTEN version of my comic!!!! YAY! Comicy-goodness! If my friend and I actually make a site, or I post it in an online art gallery, I will put the link on my profile.  
  
Rated 'PG' for the mentioning of rum, just to be safe.  
  
Short, one-shot, humor, etc, etc...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Will was sitting in the Captain's quarters of the Black Pearl, with his head in his hand, griping rather fiercely to himself about previous, recent events.  
  
*Grumble-grumble* "Stupid Elizabeth..." *grumble-grumble* "Leaving me for Norrington..... Says I'm 'too girly'...." *grumble-grumble*, he seethed looking around the room and hating everything that was there, for no particular reason.  
  
Then he shot up from his slumped position on the rickety chair, slamming his fist down forcefully and valiantly declared, "But I'll show her! I'll show them all! I'm going to be the most manly-man in the entire ocean! I'm going to look like, er... um..." he stopped, thinking for a moment, "Like Jack!"  
  
/Yeah/, he though. /All the girls seem to like him, that's who I'll look like!/ He decided indefinitely.  
  
Reaching behind his head, his fingers clasped around the strip of cloth that tied his hair back from his face and grunted softly as the strip came loose. Placing the cloth on the table in front of him, he then reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, straightening it out. He looked himself in the mirror.  
  
/That can't be right/, he though. He stuck his fingers back through his hair and shook them violently, mussing up his hair. He looked back in the mirror in front of him and smiled to himself. /That's more like it! Now I look like a scraggled dog! How attractive I must be now!/ But then realized that that was not enough and that Jack had more about him then mussed up hair.  
  
He looked down and saw a small brass knob protruding from the small bureau. He pulled open the drawer and was pleased to find that this was where Jack kept his collection of rings, beads, and miscellaneous trinkets for his hair and other accessories.  
  
Picking out the most flamboyant colored rings and beads, he slipped them onto his finger and twisted his hair around into little strands and slid the bead up them. He braided his hair into little strands so his head had different strips of beads and braids.  
  
The next thing to go was his neck-kerchief. He untied that then stopped and thought for a moment. Aha! He had it! He would have a bandana around his head like Jack did! He tied the maroon band around his forehead but made sure to keep some of his hair in his face.  
  
Now he grabbed both sides of his vest and yanked them apart, popping all of the buttons off and exposing his bare chest. ((Fangirls: EEEEEEEEE!!!!!))  
  
Glancing back up in the mirror, he couldn't help but let an accomplished laugh escape his lips. "Hahahahahaha!!!" he laughed triumphantly, and grinning broadly. "Who's a girly-man now?! Not I! I be a fearsome pirate, savvy? Elizabeth will come crawling back to me now!!!" he tried his hand at a pirate accent, rather pitifully really, "HAHAHAHAHA!! Arrr..." ((A/N oh my, I'm afraid our dear William has lost it...))  
  
He stopped and leaned in closer to the mirror, his ring-laden finger on his chin in thought. He squinted at his reflection and pondered aloud, "Hmm... but something's still missing.... AHA!" he stated, looking down at the table, "That's it!" He reached down and unscrolled the tin container. "Jack's eye kohl!" he said, looking at the black, powdery substance.  
  
Jovially sticking his finger in it, he brought it closer to his face, while his other hand pulled the bottom lid of his eye down. He carefully wiped it across his eye, though he applied too much, it didn't matter to him. Now on to the next eye. Repeating the process, he then brought his finger to his eye again but fate had other plans. The ship gave a sudden lurch and he wound up stabbing himself in the eye. The kohl burned and his eyes watered, causing the kohl to run. "OW!" He threw himself back, as if he were trying to get away from his finger. The ship rocked again and as he hit the back of the chair, it gave way and he flailed his arms about in a futile manner trying to regain his balance, but to no avail. He pummeled backwards, "YEEEAAAAHH!!!!" he yelled as he fell, causing a big crash.  
  
He was a little dizzy but he heard footsteps come clunking quickly on the other side of the door. It flew open with a bang and Jack stood there panting. "Will m'boy! Are y' all right? I came as fast as I could! I heard a yell and a crash and...." He stopped abruptly taking in the new sight.  
  
"Uhm..." was all Will could input into the conversation. His hair was all amess and laden with Jacks beads. His shirt was ripped open with almost his entire abdomen showing through. Wrinkled clothes and missing a shoe, with his scarf tied around his head and small braids falling around his face. Jack's kohl was running down the sides of his face.  
  
Then Jack said, well... Jack didn't really say anything... he just kind of stood there with his eyes wide in a stupefied manner and his mouth hung slightly open in utter shock  
  
The door slammed shut. "Er...." Will stated pathetically.  
  
Outside the door, Jack blindly searched for something in his vest, his face still contorted after seeing something so surreal. He pulled out a small bottle of rum he had in his inside vest pocked and looked at it, still sweating.  
  
Turning to walk away, he put his hand to his head and said shakily, "I need ta cut back..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ THE END! Well? What did you all think? My first POSTED FanFic! Loved it? Hated it? Let me know! REVIEW, REVIEW!!!!! Thanks! 


	2. William Turner: girly man

Disclaimer: *sniff* sadly enough I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack, Will or any of the characters. But the plot is MINE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ps. This story is the WRITTEN version of my comic!!!! YAY! Comicy-goodness! If my friend and I actually make a site, or I post it in an online art gallery, I will put the link on my profile.  
  
Rated 'PG' for the mentioning of rum, just to be safe.  
  
Short, one-shot, humor, etc, etc...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Will was sitting in the Captain's quarters of the Black Pearl, with his head in his hand, griping rather fiercely to himself about previous, recent events.  
  
*Grumble-grumble* "Stupid Elizabeth..." *grumble-grumble* "Leaving me for Norrington..... Says I'm 'too girly'...." *grumble-grumble*, he seethed looking around the room and hating everything that was there, for no particular reason.  
  
Then he shot up from his slumped position on the rickety chair, slamming his fist down forcefully and valiantly declared, "But I'll show her! I'll show them all! I'm going to be the most manly-man in the entire ocean! I'm going to look like, er... um..." he stopped, thinking for a moment, "Like Jack!"  
  
/Yeah/, he though. /All the girls seem to like him, that's who I'll look like!/ He decided indefinitely.  
  
Reaching behind his head, his fingers clasped around the strip of cloth that tied his hair back from his face and grunted softly as the strip came loose. Placing the cloth on the table in front of him, he then reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, straightening it out. He looked himself in the mirror.  
  
/That can't be right/, he though. He stuck his fingers back through his hair and shook them violently, mussing up his hair. He looked back in the mirror in front of him and smiled to himself. /That's more like it! Now I look like a scraggled dog! How attractive I must be now!/ But then realized that that was not enough and that Jack had more about him then mussed up hair.  
  
He looked down and saw a small brass knob protruding from the small bureau. He pulled open the drawer and was pleased to find that this was where Jack kept his collection of rings, beads, and miscellaneous trinkets for his hair and other accessories.  
  
Picking out the most flamboyant colored rings and beads, he slipped them onto his finger and twisted his hair around into little strands and slid the bead up them. He braided his hair into little strands so his head had different strips of beads and braids.  
  
The next thing to go was his neck-kerchief. He untied that then stopped and thought for a moment. Aha! He had it! He would have a bandana around his head like Jack did! He tied the maroon band around his forehead but made sure to keep some of his hair in his face.  
  
Now he grabbed both sides of his vest and yanked them apart, popping all of the buttons off and exposing his bare chest. ((Fangirls: EEEEEEEEE!!!!!))  
  
Glancing back up in the mirror, he couldn't help but let an accomplished laugh escape his lips. "Hahahahahaha!!!" he laughed triumphantly, and grinning broadly. "Who's a girly-man now?! Not I! I be a fearsome pirate, savvy? Elizabeth will come crawling back to me now!!!" he tried his hand at a pirate accent, rather pitifully really, "HAHAHAHAHA!! Arrr..." ((A/N oh my, I'm afraid our dear William has lost it...))  
  
He stopped and leaned in closer to the mirror, his ring-laden finger on his chin in thought. He squinted at his reflection and pondered aloud, "Hmm... but something's still missing.... AHA!" he stated, looking down at the table, "That's it!" He reached down and unscrolled the tin container. "Jack's eye kohl!" he said, looking at the black, powdery substance.  
  
Jovially sticking his finger in it, he brought it closer to his face, while his other hand pulled the bottom lid of his eye down. He carefully wiped it across his eye, though he applied too much, it didn't matter to him. Now on to the next eye. Repeating the process, he then brought his finger to his eye again but fate had other plans. The ship gave a sudden lurch and he wound up stabbing himself in the eye. The kohl burned and his eyes watered, causing the kohl to run. "OW!" He threw himself back, as if he were trying to get away from his finger. The ship rocked again and as he hit the back of the chair, it gave way and he flailed his arms about in a futile manner trying to regain his balance, but to no avail. He pummeled backwards, "YEEEAAAAHH!!!!" he yelled as he fell, causing a big crash.  
  
He was a little dizzy but he heard footsteps come clunking quickly on the other side of the door. It flew open with a bang and Jack stood there panting. "Will m'boy! Are y' all right? I came as fast as I could! I heard a yell and a crash and...." He stopped abruptly taking in the new sight.  
  
"Uhm..." was all Will could input into the conversation. His hair was all amess and laden with Jacks beads. His shirt was ripped open with almost his entire abdomen showing through. Wrinkled clothes and missing a shoe, with his scarf tied around his head and small braids falling around his face. Jack's kohl was running down the sides of his face.  
  
Then Jack said, well... Jack didn't really say anything... he just kind of stood there with his eyes wide in a stupefied manner and his mouth hung slightly open in utter shock  
  
The door slammed shut. "Er...." Will stated pathetically.  
  
Outside the door, Jack blindly searched for something in his vest, his face still contorted after seeing something so surreal. He pulled out a small bottle of rum he had in his inside vest pocked and looked at it, still sweating.  
  
Turning to walk away, he put his hand to his head and said shakily, "I need ta cut back..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ THE END! Well? What did you all think? My first POSTED FanFic! Loved it? Hated it? Let me know! REVIEW, REVIEW!!!!! Thanks! 


End file.
